23rd June “You Submatix rabble are the chavs of diving”.

**Freef** · 24th June 2007, 15:57

Off to the sunny climes of Dosthill with Leslie to do a bit of SCR-ing before a planned trip to Plymouth. I was told by her nibs to be there for 0745 so I left Deliveranceville at 0630 to head up the A5 to a car park next to a graveyard-something to focus the mind on staying safe while diving. I followed Leslie into the car park, but as it was still early she didn’t realise it was me. This fact was given away by her random driving around the car park until I parked up and then Leslie decided where to park. Safely away from me it must be said. I take delivery of some Spherasorb from Leslie to try in my Dolphin to see how it goes at a later date.

The weather forecast for the day was for a bit of thunder and lightning, so Leslie had parked under a tree for ‘protection from the weather’. Isn’t something usually associated with thunder that means being near tall things a mistake? The car park was empty when we got there, so I plonked as close to the entrance as I could, then a few feet further from the entrance after I saw the mud outside my door. £8 and a sign in later we got our respective kit sorted and then Leslie wandered down to the shop to chat to the staff as I got the teas in, with the obligatory soss sarnie for me. The bloke in charge of the food had a load of bacon on the go so my request for sausages met with a ‘there’s always one’. Always the same one it seems. Heading to the shop I see a nose of the doggy kind sticking out from the doorway, and make friends with a chocolate Lab that is the site mauler of dodgy divers. I say ‘maul’, but ‘slobberer on and licker of’ is more accurate.

I was in my ‘sea kit’ set up, the Dolph and a 7L stage for bailout/deco and suit. The Beaver weight harness is looking a bit frayed around the edges now, and a new one will be required soon. Once set up we decide on the dive plan. ’Leslie, you can lead as you know the site’ seemed like a good one to me as it saves me from navigating around a site I don’t know. Leslie agreed to lead a lap of the lake, which should take about 30-40 minutes. I suggested we do it twice so that we get a decent dive from the Rebreather’s and was met with a look of ‘are you mad?’

On kitting up I see that mine is not the only village where the inbreeding is getting terminal. A six fingered hand print is in one of the concrete sections near the water. It should also be noted that global warming has already affected Dosthill and the water level was very high. If it keeps raining like this then the shop staff will need drysuits and the food wagon will float away. We gracefully fall in the water and Leslie appears to go to sleep.

The red arrow points to the thumb. We didn’t linger after dark for obvious reasons.

I call Leslie to make sure she isn’t already hypoxic, but she is just checking her loop. We drop to a platform for a bubble check, after I have reminded Leslie that my Dolphin is supposed to bubble. Checks done we head off into the deeper part of the lake and begin our circumnavigation. I haven’t been in the water on the Dolph for a couple of months so I make sure that all is well, especially as I am slated to be in the sea with it next weekend. We take 6 minutes to get to 20m where the loop fO2 indicated by the Oxygauge is high enough for me to change to the 26% O2 setting on the Vyper. We pass a boat and I have the urge to write ‘Troutbridge’ in the silt that covers it, but I would have lost Leslie if I had stopped. We were about 3-4m apart in vis of 8m-ish, which was surprising considering all the rain we have had recently. The perimiter of the lake doesn’t feature much so a look at the wrecked cars is about as good as it gets until we see a van to swim through, which I do.

The tide was in when we went to Brum for a dive. The diver on the right is at the top of the steps that are normally a foot or so above the water level. The stretcher is for those that survive a diving incident, the shovel for those that don’t.

Heading back North I give Leslie the ‘your turn to get the teas in’ sign, which she quickly aggress to. We pass a couple of sunken trees on the way back and see a perch, the only life we would on this dive. a gentle ascent to the 6m platform sees us off gassing nicely and allows me to do an exercise vO2 check before we clamber out. Dropping the kit off Leslie gets the teas in and we have a chat to the staff again. Sid the cook wants a look at my Dolphin, good man, but is looking at getting a Submatix, bad man. Leslie tells me that she and her fellow Subby divers are getting some loop covers in all sorts of garish colours. Being a woman, Leslie wants matching collars and cuffs [or rather loop covers and drysuit]. I ask if the Subby Oxyscan’s alarm goes ‘bling bling’ rather than the usual ‘bleep bleep’ most units make. The apprentice chef is over for a look when Leslie has her cover off.

‘What’s that?’ he asks pointing at the scrubber.

‘That’s a scrubber’, I reply, ‘And in her rebreather there is a carbon dioxide absorbent housing’.

Leslie is torn between hitting me and laughing it off. Although she chose the latter I think that she may be telling her hubby and then I will be in trouble. Another dog has arrived, an old border collie that is on the scrounge for food, something that he appears to think I have. It has arrived just behind a fox that sauntered out of the gate earlier.

A friendly dog on the scrouge for food.

After an hour I feel the need to get back in for another splash, and I ask Leslie if she will lead the way to the shallow end. Unlike all the other inland sites I have hit Dosthills shallow end is the furthest point from the entry. I have ‘done’ Dosthill a few times without venturing over there, and now seemed like a good time, if for no other reason than Leslie knows the way.

We drop in again for a bubble check on the way down to a 16m bounce and a slow saunter up to 8m and the shelf. Leslie finds a toilet seat, the donut bit rather than the solid bit. Fortunately it was laying flat on the floor so she couldn’t blame a bloke for leaving it up. I have a go at scooting it to her underwater only to have it come back to me. I sat there laughing like a loon as the seat behaved like a boomerang. Pushing the hinge side let it travel for a bit before it came back to the pusher. It was possible to hit it several times before it sank to the floor. Leslie had a go too, and I motioned to turn the seat upside down. It didn’t return in that position, so the hydrodynamic properties of a bog seat allow you to play frisbee or boomerang depending on which way up it is.

After a swim through the remains of the house we trog back North gradually ascending to 6m to let the bubbles back out. I decided I needed to do a lost mask drill for the hell of it, and then surprised Leslie. Malc, her husband has some cards with various CCR faults on them that he surprises her with when they go diving. I wrote ‘high pO2’ on my wrist slate and we headed up as you should with a Rebreather fault that won’t clear.

Back on the surface Leslie expressed surprise at my sneakiness. Well, it’s her fault for telling me about the cards. When I’m in with divers an I get bored I am also known to spring out of air drills on them after the 6m stop has been completed. It’s surprising the number who just look at me like I have lost my mind. I normally get that look out of the water, so to be honest I’m used to it now.

We strip the kit and head to the tea bar again for another cup before I head off via the shop to say goodbye to the dog. The dog that has just laid a huge mess down on the floor. I worked on a dairy farm one summer and I have seen cows drop less than the lab passed in the shop. As we headed off site a JCB was on the way in to clear up.

The Dosthill Duck Leg Thieves had struck again.

Dive data:

Dive 1

20.8m
41 min

SI 1H 34 min

Dive 2

16.8m
47 min

24th June 2007, 15:57	#1 (permalink)
Freef Custom Title Disallowed! Current Rebreather/s: Dolphin Other Rebreather/s: Dolphin Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Land of the Freef, UK. Posts: 1,356	23rd June “You Submatix rabble are the chavs of diving”. Off to the sunny climes of Dosthill with Leslie to do a bit of SCR-ing before a planned trip to Plymouth. I was told by her nibs to be there for 0745 so I left Deliveranceville at 0630 to head up the A5 to a car park next to a graveyard-something to focus the mind on staying safe while diving. I followed Leslie into the car park, but as it was still early she didn’t realise it was me. This fact was given away by her random driving around the car park until I parked up and then Leslie decided where to park. Safely away from me it must be said. I take delivery of some Spherasorb from Leslie to try in my Dolphin to see how it goes at a later date. The weather forecast for the day was for a bit of thunder and lightning, so Leslie had parked under a tree for ‘protection from the weather’. Isn’t something usually associated with thunder that means being near tall things a mistake? The car park was empty when we got there, so I plonked as close to the entrance as I could, then a few feet further from the entrance after I saw the mud outside my door. £8 and a sign in later we got our respective kit sorted and then Leslie wandered down to the shop to chat to the staff as I got the teas in, with the obligatory soss sarnie for me. The bloke in charge of the food had a load of bacon on the go so my request for sausages met with a ‘there’s always one’. Always the same one it seems. Heading to the shop I see a nose of the doggy kind sticking out from the doorway, and make friends with a chocolate Lab that is the site mauler of dodgy divers. I say ‘maul’, but ‘slobberer on and licker of’ is more accurate. I was in my ‘sea kit’ set up, the Dolph and a 7L stage for bailout/deco and suit. The Beaver weight harness is looking a bit frayed around the edges now, and a new one will be required soon. Once set up we decide on the dive plan. ’Leslie, you can lead as you know the site’ seemed like a good one to me as it saves me from navigating around a site I don’t know. Leslie agreed to lead a lap of the lake, which should take about 30-40 minutes. I suggested we do it twice so that we get a decent dive from the Rebreather’s and was met with a look of ‘are you mad?’ On kitting up I see that mine is not the only village where the inbreeding is getting terminal. A six fingered hand print is in one of the concrete sections near the water. It should also be noted that global warming has already affected Dosthill and the water level was very high. If it keeps raining like this then the shop staff will need drysuits and the food wagon will float away. We gracefully fall in the water and Leslie appears to go to sleep. The red arrow points to the thumb. We didn’t linger after dark for obvious reasons. I call Leslie to make sure she isn’t already hypoxic, but she is just checking her loop. We drop to a platform for a bubble check, after I have reminded Leslie that my Dolphin is supposed to bubble. Checks done we head off into the deeper part of the lake and begin our circumnavigation. I haven’t been in the water on the Dolph for a couple of months so I make sure that all is well, especially as I am slated to be in the sea with it next weekend. We take 6 minutes to get to 20m where the loop fO2 indicated by the Oxygauge is high enough for me to change to the 26% O2 setting on the Vyper. We pass a boat and I have the urge to write ‘Troutbridge’ in the silt that covers it, but I would have lost Leslie if I had stopped. We were about 3-4m apart in vis of 8m-ish, which was surprising considering all the rain we have had recently. The perimiter of the lake doesn’t feature much so a look at the wrecked cars is about as good as it gets until we see a van to swim through, which I do. The tide was in when we went to Brum for a dive. The diver on the right is at the top of the steps that are normally a foot or so above the water level. The stretcher is for those that survive a diving incident, the shovel for those that don’t. Heading back North I give Leslie the ‘your turn to get the teas in’ sign, which she quickly aggress to. We pass a couple of sunken trees on the way back and see a perch, the only life we would on this dive. a gentle ascent to the 6m platform sees us off gassing nicely and allows me to do an exercise vO2 check before we clamber out. Dropping the kit off Leslie gets the teas in and we have a chat to the staff again. Sid the cook wants a look at my Dolphin, good man, but is looking at getting a Submatix, bad man. Leslie tells me that she and her fellow Subby divers are getting some loop covers in all sorts of garish colours. Being a woman, Leslie wants matching collars and cuffs [or rather loop covers and drysuit]. I ask if the Subby Oxyscan’s alarm goes ‘bling bling’ rather than the usual ‘bleep bleep’ most units make. The apprentice chef is over for a look when Leslie has her cover off. ‘What’s that?’ he asks pointing at the scrubber. ‘That’s a scrubber’, I reply, ‘And in her rebreather there is a carbon dioxide absorbent housing’. Leslie is torn between hitting me and laughing it off. Although she chose the latter I think that she may be telling her hubby and then I will be in trouble. Another dog has arrived, an old border collie that is on the scrounge for food, something that he appears to think I have. It has arrived just behind a fox that sauntered out of the gate earlier. A friendly dog on the scrouge for food. After an hour I feel the need to get back in for another splash, and I ask Leslie if she will lead the way to the shallow end. Unlike all the other inland sites I have hit Dosthills shallow end is the furthest point from the entry. I have ‘done’ Dosthill a few times without venturing over there, and now seemed like a good time, if for no other reason than Leslie knows the way. We drop in again for a bubble check on the way down to a 16m bounce and a slow saunter up to 8m and the shelf. Leslie finds a toilet seat, the donut bit rather than the solid bit. Fortunately it was laying flat on the floor so she couldn’t blame a bloke for leaving it up. I have a go at scooting it to her underwater only to have it come back to me. I sat there laughing like a loon as the seat behaved like a boomerang. Pushing the hinge side let it travel for a bit before it came back to the pusher. It was possible to hit it several times before it sank to the floor. Leslie had a go too, and I motioned to turn the seat upside down. It didn’t return in that position, so the hydrodynamic properties of a bog seat allow you to play frisbee or boomerang depending on which way up it is. After a swim through the remains of the house we trog back North gradually ascending to 6m to let the bubbles back out. I decided I needed to do a lost mask drill for the hell of it, and then surprised Leslie. Malc, her husband has some cards with various CCR faults on them that he surprises her with when they go diving. I wrote ‘high pO2’ on my wrist slate and we headed up as you should with a Rebreather fault that won’t clear. Back on the surface Leslie expressed surprise at my sneakiness. Well, it’s her fault for telling me about the cards. When I’m in with divers an I get bored I am also known to spring out of air drills on them after the 6m stop has been completed. It’s surprising the number who just look at me like I have lost my mind. I normally get that look out of the water, so to be honest I’m used to it now. We strip the kit and head to the tea bar again for another cup before I head off via the shop to say goodbye to the dog. The dog that has just laid a huge mess down on the floor. I worked on a dairy farm one summer and I have seen cows drop less than the lab passed in the shop. As we headed off site a JCB was on the way in to clear up. The Dosthill Duck Leg Thieves had struck again. Dive data: Dive 1 20.8m 41 min SI 1H 34 min Dive 2 16.8m 47 min __________________ David. Currently owner of two differently sized ankles.
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