Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You

Buck-O-Five · 11th October 2008, 05:44

This idea has been going around for a while and is pretty funny when you make the facts specific to your job or hobby. I was thinking about making a Rebreather Chuck Norris t-shirt. My brother did this for his F-18 Squadron and it was pretty cool.

How many comedians out there can come up with something snappy relating to:

The Top Ten Reasons Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You?
Here is my stab at it...................

10. Chuck Norris' onboard DIL is sufficient bailout gas.

9. Chuck Norris dove the Doria, 17 times in one day without changing his scrubber.

8. Sorb is too scared to breakthrough for Chuck Norris.

7. CE has has failed to meet the Chuck Norris standard.

6. Chuck Norris took a dump one day, and called it double 130's.

5. The new Chuck Norris WOB Kit, is Chuck punching your lungs until you breathe like a man.

4. Chuck Norris dove the Titanic, on a Sport Kiss, twice.

3. The Chuck Norris homebuilt, is now Top Secret Navy property.

2. ???????

1. ???????

Here are some good ones from the website. Chuck Norris Facts

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

cramerdn · 11th October 2008, 06:31

2. Chuck Norris's opinions about Rebreather diving are even respected by AM.

Nailer99 · 11th October 2008, 06:42

Quote: (Originally Posted by cramerdn)

2. Chuck Norris's opinions about Rebreather diving are even respected by AM.

Green sent! I F*&king love you Aussies! Plus, I'm drunk.

Nailer99 · 11th October 2008, 06:47

OK, I think I have one:

Chuck Norris doesn't recognize partial pressure. Chuck Norris uses full pressure, or nothing at all.

anton610 · 11th October 2008, 08:09

When Chuck Norris dives with the great white, the shark is in the cage.

Regards Anton

**NEDIVER** · 11th October 2008, 12:51

Quote: (Originally Posted by Nailer99)

OK, I think I have one:

Chuck Norris doesn't recognize partial pressure. Chuck Norris uses full pressure, or nothing at all.

This is hilarious!

Ukon · 11th October 2008, 13:19

Chuck Norris doesn't need a scrubber. Chuck Norris scares CO2 out of the loop!

tflaris · 11th October 2008, 13:22

Quote: (Originally Posted by Nailer99)

Green sent! I F*&king love you Aussies! Plus, I'm drunk.

ditto except i am sober

Canadian Tekdive · 11th October 2008, 13:45

Brandon, this is hilarious...

a few more and I think we should make some shirts...

Chuck Norris doesn't need a BOV he is resistant to CO2 breakthru.

Ukon · 11th October 2008, 14:25

I'm finding this kind of addictive!

Chuck Norris never has to worry about a CO2 hit. CO2 wouldn't be dumb enough to hit Chuck Norris.

11th October 2008, 05:44	#1 (permalink)
Buck-O-Five San Diego rEvo Mafia Current Rebreather/s: rEvo Other Rebreather/s: Classic Kiss rEvo Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 599	Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You This idea has been going around for a while and is pretty funny when you make the facts specific to your job or hobby. I was thinking about making a Rebreather Chuck Norris t-shirt. My brother did this for his F-18 Squadron and it was pretty cool. How many comedians out there can come up with something snappy relating to: The Top Ten Reasons Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You? Here is my stab at it................... 10. Chuck Norris' onboard DIL is sufficient bailout gas. 9. Chuck Norris dove the Doria, 17 times in one day without changing his scrubber. 8. Sorb is too scared to breakthrough for Chuck Norris. 7. CE has has failed to meet the Chuck Norris standard. 6. Chuck Norris took a dump one day, and called it double 130's. 5. The new Chuck Norris WOB Kit, is Chuck punching your lungs until you breathe like a man. 4. Chuck Norris dove the Titanic, on a Sport Kiss, twice. 3. The Chuck Norris homebuilt, is now Top Secret Navy property. 2. ??????? 1. ??????? Here are some good ones from the website. Chuck Norris Facts When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. __________________ "The Brandon" www.sdtechdiving.com
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11th October 2008, 06:31	#2 (permalink)
cramerdn Dumb Sudditeologist Current Rebreather/s: Evolution Dolphin Other Rebreather/s: Dolphin Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Townsville QLD Posts: 1,107	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You 2. Chuck Norris's opinions about Rebreather diving are even respected by AM.
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11th October 2008, 06:42	#3 (permalink)
Nailer99 Joshua Smith Current Rebreather/s: Megalodon Other Rebreather/s: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Seattle, WA, USA Posts: 365	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You Quote: (Originally Posted by cramerdn) 2. Chuck Norris's opinions about Rebreather diving are even respected by AM. Green sent! I F*&king love you Aussies! Plus, I'm drunk.
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11th October 2008, 06:47	#4 (permalink)
Nailer99 Joshua Smith Current Rebreather/s: Megalodon Other Rebreather/s: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Seattle, WA, USA Posts: 365	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You OK, I think I have one: Chuck Norris doesn't recognize partial pressure. Chuck Norris uses full pressure, or nothing at all.
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11th October 2008, 08:09	#5 (permalink)
anton610 toni the strange Current Rebreather/s: Evolution Other CCR Other Rebreather/s: Other CCR Join Date: May 2006 Location: austria Posts: 205	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You When Chuck Norris dives with the great white, the shark is in the cage. Regards Anton
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11th October 2008, 12:51	#6 (permalink)
NEDIVER Sic Semper Tyrannis Current Rebreather/s: Evolution Other Rebreather/s: Inspiration Vision Evolution Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Nashua, NH Posts: 378	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You Quote: (Originally Posted by Nailer99) OK, I think I have one: Chuck Norris doesn't recognize partial pressure. Chuck Norris uses full pressure, or nothing at all. This is hilarious! __________________ -Tom- "slow is smooth, and smooth is fast" TM "Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again, expecting different results" Albert Einstein
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11th October 2008, 13:19	#7 (permalink)
Ukon RBW Member Current Rebreather/s: Classic Kiss rEvo Other Rebreather/s: rEvo Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Northeast Posts: 66	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You Chuck Norris doesn't need a scrubber. Chuck Norris scares CO2 out of the loop!
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11th October 2008, 13:22	#8 (permalink)
tflaris God save the Queen Current Rebreather/s: Evolution Megalodon Other Rebreather/s: Evolution Megalodon Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Neptune Beach, Florida Posts: 377	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You Quote: (Originally Posted by Nailer99) Green sent! I F*&king love you Aussies! Plus, I'm drunk. ditto except i am sober
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11th October 2008, 13:45	#9 (permalink)
Canadian Tekdive RBW Member Current Rebreather/s: Classic Kiss Other Rebreather/s: Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ontario Canada Posts: 196	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You Brandon, this is hilarious... a few more and I think we should make some shirts... Chuck Norris doesn't need a BOV he is resistant to CO2 breakthru.
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11th October 2008, 14:25	#10 (permalink)
Ukon RBW Member Current Rebreather/s: Classic Kiss rEvo Other Rebreather/s: rEvo Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Northeast Posts: 66	Re: Why Chuck Norris Dives Deeper Than You I'm finding this kind of addictive! Chuck Norris never has to worry about a CO2 hit. CO2 wouldn't be dumb enough to hit Chuck Norris.
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