+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Threat levels

  1. #1

    Threat levels

    I've seen this all over the place so hopefully no copyright issues. Most of us in the US just think the normal threat level around the world and here is "I don't think its wise to follow that idiot leader of yours into a war." But this is funnier-and since its not a US guy writing it, it seems both funny and ok.


    Alerts to threats in 2013 Europe

    From John Cleese



    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.



    The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.



    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.



    Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."



    The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."



    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.



    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.



    Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.



    Regards,

    John Cleese ,

    British writer, actor and tall person



    And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

  2. #2
    Mature mouth breather silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running has a reputation beyond repute silent running's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    U.S.A. Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    2,567
    Prism

    Dolphin

    Re: Threat levels

    Good stuff, thanks, -Andy

  3. #3
    Andy Favata CCR-Wrecker has a spectacular aura about CCR-Wrecker has a spectacular aura about CCR-Wrecker has a spectacular aura about CCR-Wrecker has a spectacular aura about CCR-Wrecker has a spectacular aura about CCR-Wrecker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    320
    rEvo

    Inspiration, Kiss classic

    Re: Threat levels

    Quote Originally Posted by uwsojourner  View Original Post
    the french government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." the only two higher levels in france are "collaborate" and "surrender." the rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed france 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    roflmao!!!

  4. #4
    RBW Member EngelenD is a jewel in the rough EngelenD is a jewel in the rough EngelenD is a jewel in the rough EngelenD is a jewel in the rough EngelenD is a jewel in the rough EngelenD is a jewel in the rough EngelenD is a jewel in the rough EngelenD is a jewel in the rough EngelenD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    1,083
    rEvo III rMS

    rEvo is all you need!!!!

    Threat levels

    :)

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts