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Thread: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

  1. #1
    RBW Member Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol's Avatar
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    Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    I found this story which could offer a possible way to build up resistance to oxygen toxicity fits with practice in the comfort of your own living room.

    Even if it doesn't it will make you laugh until you cry!




    Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
    A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

    Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

    WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!

    Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

    Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

    There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

    I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
    Am I wrong?

    So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.
    The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient
    your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

    What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

    I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
    I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .
    HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

    I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the foetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

    The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging
    to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an atempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

    Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself!

    You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?


    SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

    A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!


    P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!



    'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.'

  2. #2
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    Re: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    Leason learned, should have shocked the cat.

  3. #3
    New Member venom is an unknown quantity at this point venom's Avatar
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    Re: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    k, this is my situation at the moment...........

    i am lying in bed next to my wife, which i have to point out the fact that it is a hospital bed. my wife is waiting for some test results......and after reading this we are both laughing our eyes out.

    thanks for this moment dude, she still cannot stop smiling

  4. #4
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    Re: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    This sounds like something only DSix would be willing to try. :D So, there really is a kindred spirit for everyone.

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    Re: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    Quote Originally Posted by ScubaDadMiami  View Original Post
    This sounds like something only DSix would be willing to try. :D So, there really is a kindred spirit for everyone.
    LOL - now that is funny! Have some green.

  6. #6
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    Re: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    Quote Originally Posted by cramerdn  View Original Post
    Leason learned, should have shocked the cat.
    I LOVE IT!!!

    ~Jeff

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    Re: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    Excellent stuff! Thanks for posting! :D

  8. #8
    RBW Member Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol is just really nice Wol's Avatar
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    Re: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    Glad you lot liked it! - I'm still chuckling now

  9. #9
    Chett Lehrer Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L has much to be proud of Chett.L's Avatar
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    Re: Oxygen toxicity resistance training

    After reading this story I am willing to fix your glasses for you.
    Chett. L

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