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Thread: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

  1. #1
    Decodiver
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    Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    You just won't believe it:

    Here is the glorious Winner:

    1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
    This time it worked.

    And now, the Honorable Mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.


    3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
    When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.
    The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse snatcher They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.
    To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
    That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    ****** A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

  2. #2
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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    Quote Originally Posted by Decodiver  View Original Post

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

    This is my favorite. Shows a great deal of lateral thinking doesn't it??


    Worryingly, there is a distinct bias towards American entries . . . any explaination??
    Last edited by Decodiver; 25th July 2007 at 19:07. Reason: formatted quote

  3. #3
    Brent - Narked at 90
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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    8 out of the 10 winners were from where?
    Copying skips understanding. Understanding is how you grow. You have to understand why something works or why something is how it is. When you copy it, you miss that. WWW.NARKEDAT90.COM
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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    Quote Originally Posted by divetheworld  View Original Post
    8 out of the 10 winners were from where?
    :D :D :D :D
    i couldnt possibly think what you are refering to

  5. #5
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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    Quote Originally Posted by Decodiver  View Original Post
    When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
    This time it worked.
    I think the key word in red should have alerted the dim wit to the reduced chance of a second mis-fire.

    Never mind, the average IQ of the world went up a notch.

  6. #6
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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    Quote Originally Posted by Freef  View Original Post
    I think the key word in red should have alerted the dim wit to the reduced chance of a second mis-fire.

    Never mind, the average IQ of the world went up a notch.
    obviously u dont belief in re-incarnation :D :D

  7. #7
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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    Quote Originally Posted by divelermentov  View Original Post
    obviously u dont belief in re-incarnation :D :D
    That pillock will come back as a lemming, and no one measures their IQ.

  8. #8
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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    I admit a fondness for the purse snatcher... I can hear him saying: "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." Sort of sums up everything about the poor dim-witted bastard doesn't it?
    Last edited by Doppler; 28th August 2007 at 19:47.

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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    Quote Originally Posted by Freef  View Original Post
    That pillock will come back as a lemming, and no one measures their IQ.
    R U kidding? With our luck he will run for Congress. In some states, he's a shoe in. Was his name Clinton? Maybe his wife will run!

    Don't mock our government, it's the best money can buy!

  10. #10
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    Re: Darwin Awards & Runners Up

    Let’s see gas was $1.39 a gallon when Clinton was in office.
    What is Dick charging for it these days $2.60 a gallon… every notice when there is an election coming up the price of gas falls…
    Yep trickle down gas…

    I like the the revolver- self inflicted.
    Andrew

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